The Emotions Bank
Willard Harler calls it the Love Bank. Ross Campbell names it the Emotions Depot. Stephen Covey calls it the Emotions Bank Account. Just like a financial bank account, you can make deposits or withdrawals on the Emotions Bank Account. The more deposits you make on your lover’s Emotions Bank Account, the more stable your relationship will be. Even if occasionally you withdraw from this account out of selfishness or thoughtlessness, it will not bust your account. But if the deposit is low, every conflict will become more serious when it happens.
Once the funds of trust and appreciation fall into deficit, and you continue to overdraw, your relation or marriage will be pressed to the edge of bankruptcy. The secret of a successful marriage is to fill your lover’s Emotions Bank Account with consideration and make its assets far exceed its debt. In this way, you can enjoy abundant care, loving intimacy, and steadfast trust shared between you and your lover. Patrick Morler asserts that this idea of Emotions Bank Account is the most important concept in the relationship between men and women. It is the most efficient instrument for establishing a successful relationship to frequently make deposits on your lover’s account and at the same time, avoid withdrawals from it.
What a husband can do to make deposits on his wife’s Emotions Bank Account:
1. Give her a passionate hug in the morning.
2. Make tea or coffee for her.
3. Make the bed voluntarily.
4. Take out the trash in the evening.
5. Take children to school.
6. Treat her parents well.
7. Fold the family’s laundry.
8. Give her birthday presents.
9. Provide for the needs of your family.
10. Say caring and appreciative words to her.
How a wife can build up deposits on her husband’s Emotions Bank Account:
1. Welcome him when he comes home from work.
2. Care about his work and career.
3. Prepare dinner with much care.
4. Satisfy his physical needs.
5. Give him a surprise on the wedding anniversary.
6. Appreciate his talents and personality.
7. Discuss problems only in a nice atmosphere.
8. Let him watch his favorite ball games.
9. Dress yourself neat and lovely.
10. Take good care of his parents.
How a husband withdraws from his wife’s Emotions Bank Account:
1. Neglect listening to her.
2. Devote all your energy to work.
3. Consider her as first place in your life.
4. Criticize her looks and habits.
5. Be self-centered and inconsiderate.
6. Lose your temper over trivial things.
7. Refuse to help with housework.
8. Spend money to satisfy your own hobbies.
9. Be indifferent toward your wife’s worries.
10. Refuse to communicate with her.
How a wife withdraws from her husband’s Emotions Bank Account?
1. Turn down the needs of romantic love.
2. Curse his interests and hobbies.
3. Look untidy and droopy.
4. Always nag.
5. Complain of his low income.
6. Compare him with successful figures.
7. Try to change his every habit.
8. Criticize his body figure and intelligence.
9. Show discontent with his achievement in career.
10. Scold him for being good-for-nothing.
Life is intricately complex; we all may lose control at one time or another and end up hurting the feelings of our lovers or spouses. The most effective way to keep the Emotions Bank Account from going bust is to increase your deposits every now and then through showing appreciation and behaving thoughtfully.
Does distance really make it difficult to sustain a relationship? I do not think so. That is just an excuse. If it is indeed the case, then why are there so many couples who live together but still break up?
In my opinion, we should be more courageous when traveling on the road of love. Show your love when you feel it; even if he or she declines your affection, at least you will not feel regret later in your life. It just might happen that the person you are in love with is also fond of you but just dare not tell. If by luck we meet someone and find mutual love between each other, we should make efforts to maintain the relationship well and cherish the one we love. Try not to be affected by other factors but face our heart and persist in the original choice without giving up easily.
For those who are already married, please treasure the person you have originally chosen. For those who are still single, please cherish your life and march forward to love.